“ and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. He shall enter in to peace;…”[Isaiah 57:1,2 KJV]
After Bobby’s death, I was searching through the Bible for verses that I might use to help someone I was conversing with via a message board here online, when I suddenly saw those first two verses from Isaiah 57, and knew immediately that God had meant for me to see them, and take them to heart. I had never read them before, and as I realized what God was saying to me within them I became so excited. It meant that God was reassuring me, a grieving mother, that my son was safely in His care, and that there had been a very good reason for Him taking Bobby home to be with Him–“…the righteous is taken away from the evil to come.”
I just posted these next few paragraphs on Facebook a few minutes ago, and just felt the need to copy them onto my blog post for today:
“Today marks the saddest day of our lives as parents. It’s tough to believe that it’s been 11 years since Bobby was killed in Afghanistan–it still seems like yesterday. 11 years of tremendous loss, complete heartache, misery untold, along with the wishes that never came true, and will never come true. 11 years of watching as people who truly cared about us stayed strongly by our side, helping to keep us going. One such person is my sister, Susan, one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever known. She has done so much for us in spite of living 3,000 miles away across the country. I don’t know what I would have done without her love, support and outright help over the last 11 years. When no one else was there, Susie was.
My husband, Bob, just called and the first thing he said to me was, “I love you”. Now, usually that’s what he says at the end of our conversation, not in the beginning of it, and today is the reason why. After we hung up I began to cry. It never gets any easier, trust me on that. It never will, I’m convinced of that. When someone who is ignorant of what it means to be a “Gold Star” parent tells me that, ‘wow’, they’d like to be able to join such a grand ‘club’, I cringe when I need to inform them that, in order to be a member of such an exclusive ‘club’ one of their children needs to die in a war. I cringe also as they realize what an awful thing it was that they’d just said, and I flinch as I hear the “I’m so sorry!”
Bob was even ‘accused’ of thinking he was some kind of south American ‘general’ or something for all the embroidery that adorns his shirts, and cap, in honor of our late son, that he wears to work. Ignorance is total bliss until someone realizes they’ve really stuck their foot in it big, and I feel as sorry for them as can be. It’s tough not to be in touch with what’s going on in your own country, let alone in your own world.
I’ve dedicated this beautiful but haunting, song to Bobby’s memory. I’ve prayed many times as I’ve listened to it’s plaintiff, soul-wrenching melody–it has no real words, so it lends itself perfectly to your own inner prayerful longings, and heartaches that you might find it hard to put into words–your heart will know what to say to God, as you listen. God’s blessing to all of you.”